Saturday, February 10, 2018

Holiday Jokes: Valentines

Valentine Jokes for Kids
Q: What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?
A: ChocoLATE
Q: What did Pilgrims give each other on Valentine’s Day?
A: Mayflowers
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Q: What food is crazy about Valentine’s Day chocolates?
A: A cocoa-nut.
Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day?
A: My heart beats for you.
Q: What do you call a very small Valentine?
A: A valentiny.
Q: What did the pickle say to the other pickle on Valetine’s Day?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.
Q: What did the blueberry say to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love you berry much.
Q: Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A: Because they’re scent-imental.
Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweethearts.
Q: What did the girl bumble bee say to the boy bumble bee on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love bee-ing with you, Honey.
Q: What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day?
A: I’m nuts about you.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
A: You’re purrr-fect for me.
Q: What did the rabbit say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
A: Somebunny loves you.
Q: Why did they put the boy’s girlfriend in jail?
A: Because she stole his heart.
Q: What did the whale say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Whale you be mine?
Q. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
A. I lava you.
Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love you beary much.
Q: What did the painter say to his girlfriend?
A: “I love you with all my art.”
Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love ewe.
Q: What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day?
A: You are bee-utiful.
Q: What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep when he said “I love you”?
A: I love you baaaaaaack.
Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day?
A: Owl be yours.
Q: What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day?
A: You’re purr-fect for me.
Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Lets hang out.
Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love you a ton.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
A: I’m stuck on you.
Q: What did one piece of string say to the other on February 14th?
A: “Be my valentwine.”
Q: What did the snail say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: By my valenslime
Q: What did one calculator say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
A: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
A: Lots of hogs and kisses.
Q: What did one door bell say to the other on February 14th?
A: “Be my valenchime.”
Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A: Because it’s got heart.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day?
A: Cauliflowers.
Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
A: It was Valenswine’s Day.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Al
Al who?
Al be your Valentine if you’ll be mine.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec to hold to hand.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Atlas
Atlas who?
Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bea.
Bea who?
Bea my Valentine.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma hoping to by your Valentine.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to be my Valentine?

Friday, February 2, 2018

Poem: Shadow Race

 Every time I’ve raced my shadow
 When the sun was at my back,
 It always ran ahead of me,
 Always got the best of me.
 But every time I’ve raced my shadow
 When my face was toward the sun,
 I won.


By Shel Silverstein

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Poem: Trying on Clothes

Trying on Clothes
I tried on the farmer's hat, 
Didn't fit… 
A little too small - just a bit 
Too floppy. 
Couldn't get used to it, 
Took it off. 
I tried on the dancer's shoes, 
A little too loose. 
Not the kind you could use 
for walkin'. 
Didn't feel right in 'em, 
Kicked 'em off. 

I tried on the summer sun, 
Felt good. 
Nice and warm - knew it would. 
Tried the grass beneath bare feet, 
Felt neat. 
Finally, finally felt well dressed, 
Nature's clothes fit me best. 

by Shel Silverstein

Poem: Tired

Tired
I’ve been working so hard you just wouldn’t believe,
And I’m tired!
There’s so little time and so much to achieve,…
And I’m tired!
I’ve been lying here holding the grass in its place,
Pressing a leaf with the side of my face,
Tasting the apples to see if they’re sweet,
Counting the toes on a centipede’s feet.
I’ve been memorizing the shape of that cloud,
Warning the robins to not chirp so loud,
Shooing the butterflies off the tomatoes,
Keeping an eye out for floods and tornadoes.
I’ve been supervising the work of the ants
And thinking of pruning the cantaloupe plants,
Calling the fish to swim into my nets,
And I’ve taken twelve thousand and forty-one breaths,
And I’m TIRED!


 by Shel Silverstein

Poem: Channels

Channels
Channel 1’s no fun.
Channel 2’s just news.
Channel 3’s hard to see.
Channel4 is just a bore.
Channel 5 is all jive.
Channel 6 needs to be fixed.
Channel 7 and channel 8—
Just old movies, not so great.
Channel 9 is a waste of time.
Channel 10 is off, my child.
Wouldn’t you like to talk a while?


by Shel Silverstein

Folk Tale: In Heaven We Feed Each Other

In Heaven We Feed Each Other
There is an ancient Chinese parable about an old man who knew he would die soon. He wanted to know what Heaven and hell were like. He visited a wise man in his village to ask "Can you tell me what Heaven and hell are like?" The wise man led him down a strange path, deep into the countryside. Finally they came upon a large house with many rooms and went inside. Inside they found lots of people and many enormous tables with an incredible array of food. Then the old man noticed a strange thing, the people, all thin and hungry were holding chopsticks 12 feet long. They tried to feed themselves, but of course could not get the food to their mouths with such long chopsticks. The old man then said to the wise man "Now I know what hell looks like, will you please show me what Heaven looks like?" The wise man led him down the same path a little further until they came upon another large house similar to the first. They went inside and saw many people well fed and happy, they too had chopsticks 12 feet long. This puzzled the old man and he asked, "I see all of these people have 12 feet chopsticks too, yet they are well fed and happy, please explain this to me.The wise man replied, "in Heaven we feed each other"



*we role played this with keeping our arms straight and trying to feed ourselves, versus feeding the person opposite us. Works great for both habit 4 (with partners) and habit 6 with everyone finishing the food and feeling happy and full.


Poem: Crowded Tub

This is an example of people all trying to do something, instead of synergizing (Covey Habit 6)

Crowded Tub
There’s too many kids in this tub.
There’s too many elbows to scrub.
I just washed a behind
That I’m sure wasn’t mine,
There’s too many kids in this tub.


by Shel Silverstein