Valentine Jokes for Kids
Q: What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?
A: ChocoLATE
A: ChocoLATE
Q: What did Pilgrims give each other on Valentine’s Day?
A: Mayflowers
A: Mayflowers
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Q: What food is crazy about Valentine’s Day chocolates?
A: A cocoa-nut.
A: A cocoa-nut.
Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day?
A: My heart beats for you.
A: My heart beats for you.
Q: What do you call a very small Valentine?
A: A valentiny.
A: A valentiny.
Q: What did the pickle say to the other pickle on Valetine’s
Day?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day
cards?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.
A: His heart wasn’t in it.
Q: What did the blueberry say to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love you berry much.
A: I love you berry much.
Q: Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A: Because they’re scent-imental.
A: Because they’re scent-imental.
Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweethearts.
A: Tweethearts.
Q: What did the girl bumble bee say to the boy bumble bee on
Valentine’s Day?
A: I love bee-ing with you, Honey.
A: I love bee-ing with you, Honey.
Q: What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on
Valentine’s Day?
A: I’m nuts about you.
A: I’m nuts about you.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
A: You’re purrr-fect for me.
A: You’re purrr-fect for me.
Q: What did the rabbit say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
A: Somebunny loves you.
A: Somebunny loves you.
Q: Why did they put the boy’s girlfriend in jail?
A: Because she stole his heart.
A: Because she stole his heart.
Q: What did the whale say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Whale you be mine?
A: Whale you be mine?
Q. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
A. I lava you.
A. I lava you.
Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s
Day?
A: I love you beary much.
A: I love you beary much.
Q: What did the painter say to his girlfriend?
A: “I love you with all my art.”
A: “I love you with all my art.”
Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s
Day?
A: I love ewe.
A: I love ewe.
Q: What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day?
A: You are bee-utiful.
A: You are bee-utiful.
Q: What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep when he said “I
love you”?
A: I love you baaaaaaack.
A: I love you baaaaaaack.
Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day?
A: Owl be yours.
A: Owl be yours.
Q: What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day?
A: You’re purr-fect for me.
A: You’re purr-fect for me.
Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Lets hang out.
A: Lets hang out.
Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s
Day?
A: I love you a ton.
A: I love you a ton.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
A: I’m stuck on you.
A: I’m stuck on you.
Q: What did one piece of string say to the other on February
14th?
A: “Be my valentwine.”
A: “Be my valentwine.”
Q: What did the snail say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: By my valenslime
A: By my valenslime
Q: What did one calculator say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
A: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
A: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
A: Lots of hogs and kisses.
A: Lots of hogs and kisses.
Q: What did one door bell say to the other on February 14th?
A: “Be my valenchime.”
A: “Be my valenchime.”
Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A: Because it’s got heart.
A: Because it’s got heart.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day?
A: Cauliflowers.
A: Cauliflowers.
Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
A: It was Valenswine’s Day.
A: It was Valenswine’s Day.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Al
Al who?
Al be your Valentine if you’ll be mine.
Who’s there?
Al
Al who?
Al be your Valentine if you’ll be mine.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec to hold to hand.
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec to hold to hand.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Atlas
Atlas who?
Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day.
Who’s there?
Atlas
Atlas who?
Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bea.
Bea who?
Bea my Valentine.
Who’s there?
Bea.
Bea who?
Bea my Valentine.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma hoping to by your Valentine.
Who’s there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma hoping to by your Valentine.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend.
Who’s there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to be my Valentine?
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to be my Valentine?
